150 Days

Day 18
November 25, 2009, 2:42 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Work has been busy. I’ve been getting home later than usual and as a result only see my parents in front of the television or on their way to bed. Over the past two weeks I have been responding from my hideaway in the basement to various comments that my father makes. I’ll hear “turnin’ on the TV.” and I’ll say “Cool. Nothing like watching some shows” or I’ll be walking down the stairs and my father will say “Just walking to the kitchen, looking for a snack” as he opens the cupboard. I’m like “Awesome. I too enjoy the odd snack.”

Now that I’ve grown somewhat comfortable in my family home, I have the sneaky suspicion my father isn’t talking to me at all. In fact, I don’t think he’s talking to anyone. I call it the running commentary. I’m not sure if it’s always been present, as I don’t remember it as a kid, but I think it may have  started as an auto-response defense mechanism. My mother is often wondering what he’s up to and will yell from downstairs “What are you doing?” or “Now what?” and “Where have you been?”. So to assist in keeping the integrity of my mothers vocal chords in tact, he beats her to the punch and provides a running synopsis of his actions. I’ve noticed that guys who’ve been married a long time have all sorts of these mechanisms, especially if they have young children. The fake listen, the engaged nod while watching TV, the simple answer to calm the kids, I’m sure the list is unending.

Whether my mother hears his commentary, or he hears his commentary, is probably no longer even relevent. The fact is that I now know what my father is up to, even if I can’t see him. 

Only 132 days left.


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